There’s no place like home. As the provider for our family, I’ve always looked forward to returning home at the end of the work day. My retreat. My haven. My safe zone. No matter what happens during the day, I know I have a loving and supportive family waiting for me on the homefront.
Courtesy 123RF/Cathy Yeulet
But I haven’t always protected that retreat. There have been many times I’ve allowed my negative emotions and preoccupations from the day to taint my home.
Recently, I had one of those days. I felt like George Constanza—every decision I made was wrong. I would have been better to just do the opposite of my inclinations. I made one misstep after another. After several miserable hours into the day, I realized it all started by me staying up later than I should have the night before.
That may sound a bit over-simplistic, but I know it was the first domino to fall and set off an embarrassing chain reaction.
You’re busy. I’m busy. If there’s one thing I hear more than anything else in small talk it’s how busy everyone is. It’s generally with a tone of frustration, feeling like victims of others’ demands or of circumstances out of our control.
The good news is that we are in control of more than what we seem to be. So much of our time pressure results from overcommitting. We are the problem. It happens because we don’t say “no” as much as we could.
Without a doubt, the most powerful productivity habit I’ve formed over the years is my morning routine. I have been fine-tuning it for decades. On days that I have neglected it, I’ve done so to my own hurt. I feel like I’m swimming through mud.
We all want the best for our kids—to have advantages that perhaps we didn’t. We work hard to use whatever resources we have to pave the way for them to hit their mark as adults. So we set up college funds; get them in the best schools; build their experience through diverse extra-curricular activities; use our network to secure helpful internships for them.
All good. Yet, sometimes common sense training—which turns out to not be so common—can provide an even greater real-world edge. Even with limited resources.
I recently found out a dear, old friend passed away. I had called to wish him a happy birthday. His wife told me the news—he had passed away two years ago.
Courtesy Flickr/Jeremy Austin
Yep. Are you cringing like I did? Honestly, I couldn’t tell which was greater: my shock or my embarrassment.
In our world where so many things call for our time and attention, setting priorities is key to a satisfying life. We’ve all experienced those days when, as we lay our head on the pillow, we wonder, “What on earth did I do all day long?”, regretting all the things we didn’t get done.
Such is the life of a busy mom. But it can be better. No matter how many unexpecteds come up, we can make the most of the 24 hours a day we all have and accomplish the most important things for that day.
I would do anything short of sin to make life better for my kids. One day, twenty-five years ago, when my kids were young I realized that the best thing I could do for them wasn’t to make more money or buy a bigger house—it was to provide them with the best version of me.
That was going to take some work. I wasn’t a bad person, yet I was acutely aware of my shortcomings. I’d hoped I would have simply grown out of them. But I knew in reality it was going to take some real work on my part.
During the years when life flew by with nary a second thought, I had to force myself to stop and take stock of what I was doing with my time. Often I was so busy that I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I found it essential every so often to take a look from 50,000 feet up to gain perspective on how I was using my time.
Courtesy galleryhip.com
As a mom of five wonderful children under seven years old, I found myself inundated with things pulling for my attention—five little ones, the doorbell, the laundry, the phone. At any point in time, I felt that I had to choose between a minimum of eight to ten things—all urgent. Add that to the fact that my husband was a perfectionist (though he loosened up) and it was literally a recipe for disaster.
One of the many Andersen-clan quotes comes from the original Star Wars. In the battle to destroy the Deathstar, a fighter pilot is nearing the drop point yet is feeling the pressure to abort. Understandable. Darth Vader is bearing down on him—I hate when that happens. But the commander calmly yet firmly issues the order, “Stay on target. Stay on target!”
