While traveling Paris together via the Metro subway system, we covered a lot of unfamiliar territory—with relatively few mistakes. Even when we did board a train going the wrong way, it was easily corrected and only cost us a few minutes.
It hit me one morning why it was such a good experience for us. I posted the picture above with the caption: I navigate. She translates. This was literally the case while traveling a foreign city.
While on a day-long tour of the French countryside, another tour member struck up a conversation with Gail. “So, how long have you two been married.” Gail replied, “37 years.” After a pause, the woman then said, “And you’re still holding hands?!”
Courtesy LATeamCollective/David Costigan
It reminded us both that what we take for granted isn’t always the norm. Marriages lasting over 30 years are becoming more rare today. And those couples who do stay married for decades don’t always have a close relationship any more.
By the time this post gets published, Gail and I will have landed in Paris, France for a week that has been a long time coming!
I’ve tried to get Gail to travel to Paris—or anywhere overseas—all of our 37 years together. I’ll let her tell you below about her change of heart. But there is one lesson in this I’d like to highlight:
As a wife and mom, my attitude was not always perfect in regard to my husband and his role as a dad. Not that my husband wasn’t a great father—I just couldn’t always appreciate it.
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But during those times when I didn’t feel he was fulfilling all my expectations for his role with the kids, I needed to make sure my disappointments were not picked up by little ears.
In my ebook, 7 Ways To Supercharge Your Family This Week, and in my personal coaching, I emphasize a few weekly events for families. These are the things that have produced in our family the relational gold we are most thankful for.
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Weekly habits such as meal time, couch time, family time, special time, date time.
Getting married is an incredibly monumental event for every girl. It’s something she most likely thinks about and plans for a long time. And when she meets the man of her dreams, all she can think of is that magical moment that she will tie the knot forever.
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In her eyes, the man she is about spend the rest of her life with can do no wrong. He is perfect in every way. The little bumps they have hit during dating are nothing to be concerned about. They will live happily ever after.
Put any two people under the same roof for a while and eventually they’re going to have a disagreement. So when a man and a woman decide to marry and join together all that they are and all that they have, it’s only a matter of time before a disagreement erupts.
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We tend to call it a fight. Mainly because that’s what it becomes—less about finding a mutually beneficial option and more about getting your own way. And often causing a great deal of hurt.
Married couples have the potential to enjoy the very closest of relationships. But with that close relationship comes an awareness of the bad as well as the good. And our tendency so often is to focus on the negative rather than the positive.
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We do it with our children, too, and we know it’s not good. But it’s even more detrimental in a marriage.
I was recently asked by one of my personal coaching clients for some practical advice to help him serve his wife even better.
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I love questions like that. Direct. Action-oriented. No-nonsense.
I’m looking forward to the long 4th of July weekend—I love the idea of long, holiday weekends. But I can remember such weekends that didn’t end up as fun and relaxing as I’d hoped.
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You’ve probably had some of those as well. You looked forward to throwing out the normal schedule and just doing whatever you want. Yet after the weekend is over, you don’t feel as recharged as you had envisioned. It felt like the weekend got away from you too fast. Regrettably, it felt a bit like a missed opportunity.
