Getting married is an incredibly monumental event for every girl. It’s something she most likely thinks about and plans for a long time. And when she meets the man of her dreams, all she can think of is that magical moment that she will tie the knot forever.
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In her eyes, the man she is about spend the rest of her life with can do no wrong. He is perfect in every way. The little bumps they have hit during dating are nothing to be concerned about. They will live happily ever after.
The wedding is planned down to each infinitesimal detail. She’s thought of everything, and the ceremony comes off without a hitch. Life is perfect!
Reality Sets In
But wedding isn’t the finish line—it’s only beginning. There is yet a long race to run. And the understanding needed to complete this journey is something that may not have been given as much consideration due to the busyness of designing that memorable day.
Before taking this leap into a marriage relationship, it’s crucial to spend some time working on yourself and your understanding of this person whom you are about to marry.
6 Ways To Prepare For Marriage Before The Wedding
- Learn all about your fiancee’s life. Find out about how he grew up, what type of life he had, what his family was like. Ask about his feelings about each of these. What experiences in his life stand out—both good and bad. The book All About Me is a great starting point for both of you to explore each other’s make up.
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Take a pre-marriage course. Working through this type of course together will assist you in finding any potential areas that could become problems in married life as you go along. There is an accountability when you work through this process with someone else leading.
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Take a good look at yourself. Take some time for some self-examination. What are your weak areas? What problems have you had in the past in your relationships? Take the time now to work on making those areas better. How you go into this marriage has a lot to do with how you will fare in it.
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Read a book together with your fiance.There are many great marriage books out today. Find one that you can study together to prepare for your marriage. A few examples:
- Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott
- The Good Fight: How Conflict Can Bring You Closer by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott
- The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
- Find a couple to mentor you. Although 4 out of 10 marriages end in divorce, there are still many couples who have stayed married for years. Find and spend some time with that couple on a regular basis both before and after the wedding. Ask about what the pain points were in their marriage and how they worked through them. Ask about issues that you think may come up in your impending marriage. Head problems off before they start.
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Discuss the Big 3. In most marriages, the top three problem areas are finances, sex, and children. Take time to fully discuss all three. Talk about your past experiences and your desires and expectations for the future. Compare notes. Make decisions for the life you’ll be sharing together.
A wedding lasts 30 minutes, but a marriage lasts a lifetime. Devoting time to this relationship in advance will go beyond just a good start.
Question: What is one recommendation you would offer an engaged couple to prepare for marriage beyond the wedding? Share your answer in the comments below.