I was recently asked by one of my personal coaching clients for some practical advice to help him serve his wife even better.
I love questions like that. Direct. Action-oriented. No-nonsense.
There are, of course, many good answers to that question depending on who you ask. I tend to start with the simplest options first. Actions that can be done relatively easily and regularly. Once they’ve become habits, it’s amazing to see the results from such seemingly simple steps.
So here were my immediate recommendations to him.
3 Simple Daily Actions To Become A More Supportive Spouse
- Pray for your spouse. I’m assuming, of course, you are a person of faith. I genuinely cannot comprehend life on this planet without a relationship with God and living with a trust and hope in Him. Two things happen when we pray for our spouses—we invoke God’s help for them, and it turns our hearts toward them. Praying for another automatically creates a concern and compassion for that person. It causes us to have an increased sensitivity to the things that concern them. And when we pray for them accordingly, it perpetuates a supportive mindfulness towards them. Just a few minutes praying for your spouse each day sets you up to be more aware—and everyone can use all the prayer they can get.
Check in regularly—just because. Call or text your spouse randomly throughout the day, just because you’re thinking of them. Just because you want to know how they’re doing. Just because. Strong, healthy, romantic marriages need a lot of communication. Even if it’s a phone call for no real reason while on the way to a meeting speaks volumes. “I’m thinking of you. I miss you. I just wanted to hear your voice.” Always ask, “How are you doing?” Just to get started if this isn’t your habit, call or text at least once each morning and afternoon, and over the noon hour. For added benefit, a quick call when in the car on the way to an appointment or running an errand.
Volunteer to lend a helping hand. We have a routine division of labor in our marriages. But a good marriage isn’t built on a mentality of, “That’s your job. You do your job and I’ll do mine.” Cultivating an attitude of helpfulness provides a culture where a marriage not only survives, but thrives. “Honey, what can I do to help?” is an amazingly comforting question. Ask the question at least once a day, and especially when you sense stress in your spouse. Marriage was designed to be a supportive partnership. Volunteering to help your spouse keeps marriage at its best.
Three simple daily habits. Nothing difficult. Doesn’t cost any money. Yet they are powerful nonetheless because they build a mindfulness of your spouse and what concerns them. Incorporate these into your daily routine and become an even better husband or wife—one that your spouse deserves and desires.
Question: How do you make sure you're staying sensitive, connected, and supportive in your marriage? Share your answer in the comments below.