I remember as a teenager the rules, curfews, and limitations my parents had established. I also remembering wondering why my friends who had lenient parents always wanted to be over at my house!
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At the time, I didn’t understand why my friends didn’t take advantage of the liberty they experienced. I didn’t appreciate that the boundaries my parents set were actually a sign of love. And I’m convinced that those boundaries protected me more times than I can count.
Life can get nuts. So far this year, I’ve made a career change and started a new venture. We moved from a 2,400 sq. ft. house to a 1,000 sq. ft. condo. Spent 65 of the first 85 days of the year in and out of hospitals and rehab with an ailing parent. Two trips out of state to visit other aging parents. Gail went through hand surgery. Helped one son and his family move. Currently helping another son and his family prepare to move out of state—taking four of our five grandchildren, mind you!
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And, yet, with the exception of a few rattled moments, we’ve been able to maintain our health and sanity.
You may be going through such a season right now. If not, you have and will again. Pregnancy. A new born child. A long-term illness of a family member. Moving. Changing jobs. Starting a business. A new school. We all face many such unstable times in our lives.
For decades now, I’ve regularly heard about the importance of quality time. It’s usually in the context of parenting. “I don’t get to have as much time with my child as I’d like, but I make sure we have a few minutes of quality time regularly.”
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I’m not looking to pick a fight, but I don’t buy that. I believe saying that is simply an attempt to alleviate the guilt we feel in not making enough time for those we love. It’s rationalization, even though we may genuinely believe it.
Some of the busiest and most influential people on the planet are moms. Whether a stay-at-home mom or a work-outside-the-home mom, she’s got a lot on her plate. It’s almost a military operation to keep all the logistics of a family flowing smoothly.
So it’s not surprising that many moms live in varying degrees of feeling overwhelmed and stressed. “A man may work from sun to sun, but a mother’s work is never done.” But, Mom can learn to work smarter, and not just harder.
There’s no place like home. As the provider for our family, I’ve always looked forward to returning home at the end of the work day. My retreat. My haven. My safe zone. No matter what happens during the day, I know I have a loving and supportive family waiting for me on the homefront.
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But I haven’t always protected that retreat. There have been many times I’ve allowed my negative emotions and preoccupations from the day to taint my home.
We’ve all heard for years how important a good breakfast is. Yet how often do we skimp or skip the most important meal of the day?
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The best time to tune the instrument is before the concert. That’s why an energizing morning routine is so vital to get you mentally and emotionally prepared for the day. In the same way, a good breakfast provides the vital fuel to kickstart your day.
My husband and I usually travel together. Ever since we married over thirty-six years ago, we’ve found it difficult to be apart for very long. We realized that very early on when I went to visit my parents out of state—he showed up just a couple days later because he missed me! That wasn’t the last time that happened. So we try to plan accordingly now.
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Recently, he took a 5-day trip to see his extended family. It was a long awaited trip that had been put off for months due to some seasonal imbalance in our lives. Unfortunately, the seasonal imbalance was still in my life due to caring for my mom, so I wasn’t able to travel with him this time.
Few things are as reassuring in uncertain times as Dad’s presence. Even if the relationship is strained, when the chips are down, Dad on the scene makes everything seem better.
Yet Dads are busy guys. Most vocations require Dads to be away from the family a big portion of most days. Is there a way to maintain that security of Dad’s presence even when not physically present?
The Crazy Cycle. That’s what Emerson Eggerichs calls it in his book, Love & Respect. Any married couple will readily identify it once they read the description. A conversation that goes nuclear almost before you even know what just happened. He says something that sounds unloving. She zings back with something that sounds disrespectful. Or perhaps she starts it—doesn’t matter. It quickly devolves into another crazy cycle.
Some arguments catch couples by surprise. They stumble into it and don’t recognize it until emotions are ignited. Yet other arguments can be predicted a mile away. The subject matter has been trouble in the past—perhaps many times—and unless you approach it differently, it will be trouble again.
We are often asked, “How do you help each child in your family to feel valuable?” This is particularly important to parents who have more than one child. Although children shouldn’t feel that the world spins around them, every child should feel appreciated and valued as a member of the family.
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Some children have very outgoing and vibrant personalities. This causes those around them to recognize their talents easily. But, other children are more laid back, and you must dig to find those golden nuggets and draw them out for all to see. Recognizing each child’s uniqueness is an essential part of family life.
