Making better lifestyle choices in any area requires sustained motivation. It’s not just enough to know we should. We need the “want to”. The “will do”.
Courtesy 123RF/Oleg Dudko
This is certainly true in eating better. Most know we’d do better to eat more vegetables and fruits, less processed and fast food, less sugar, etc. It just seems so hard; so dramatic; so deprived.
I’ve worked hard over the years to learn principles that govern good time management. It’s because I believe time is probably the most valuable resource we have. We better make the most of today because once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Courtesy 123RF/Tetiana Vitsenko
But principles mean nothing unless you have systems and tools to put them into action. Principles never change though tools may, and mine sure have over the years.
As parents, we naturally talk to our children—hopefully a lot. From the time they are born, we speak as though they can understand every word. But what are the things we are saying? “Oh, you are such a mess!” “You little stinker!”
Courtesy 123RF/Igor Daniel
Those comments are cute when they are babies, but how does that translate when they get a little older? If we’re not mindful about what we say, that freedom to spout off silly little sayings becomes a little more serious. “You just don’t listen.” “Why can’t you just do what I tell you?” “You won’t amount to anything.” “I wish you were like your brother.”
Recently I tweeted, “I can’t think of anything more important for personal development than reading.” Most people mentally assent to that. They know it’s a good habit yet few make time for it or, much less, love it.
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We schooled our five children at home. One of the things Gail and I determined early on was to give our kids a love of learning. We knew we could never teach them everything they would need to know to hit their mark in life. But if we could teach them how to learn what they needed, we’d have done them a huge service.
It’s really quite astounding that most of our greatest roles in life don’t come with an instruction manual. You have to pass a test to get a driver’s license yet there’s no manual or test required to be a husband or a dad.
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I’m not in favor of requiring legislation for such—but, man, it would sure be nice to have more of a leg-up than most of us guys get.
For the past 5½ years, I’ve been blessed to live in the same town with my ever-growing crew of grandkids. We’ve spent hours together playing, working on schoolwork, doing art projects, baking, reading, going to movies, laughing, having dance parties, and toddling around town just enjoying all that Tulsa has to offer.
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Not all grandparents have this privilege, I know. Today’s society is so mobile that many, many miles can separate extended families.
Every parent hopes for a great relationship and open communication with their child during the teenage years. It’s easy, however, for us parents to inadvertently discourage that by continuing to speak to them as we did when they were younger and needed more direction.
Courtesy 123RF/Kai Chiang
As the child moves through the teenage years, our challenge is to move away from control to coaching. If a parent defaults into a more directive, one-way conversation mode, there’s either going to be an argument or the teenager will clam up, get bitter and/or rebel.
As I’ve mentioned before, in 2011 I made some dramatic lifestyle changes for health reasons. One of those was a daily walk for 30 minutes. It may seem like a small thing but what a difference it makes.
Courtesy 123RF/Sergejs Rahunoks
Most of us really don’t do enough walking. In fact, we are becoming more sedentary. The health hazards of prolonged periods of sitting are being widely reported.
My husband has been having what we call “Special Time” with each of our five children for years. Once a week, he carves out an hour or two to spend with one of our kids doing something that allows conversation to be the main event. Yes, even as adults, they enjoy some one-on-one time so they can glean from his years of experience and wisdom in so many areas.
Courtesy 123RF/Robert Hainer
When he started having Special Time with them, he learned that what may have been special to him was not necessarily memorable to them. Now if the Special Time included working on a home project, or running an important errand together, the choice may not be the child’s. But many times, their Special Time was at the discretion of the child whose week it was to have daddy all to himself for a few hours.
Most families have too much of the month left over at the end of the paycheck. There’s seems to be this never-ending struggle to provide for the needs of a growing family amidst ever-increasing costs of living. Everyone wants to save for a house, the kids’ college education, weddings, and retirement, yet find it hard to just keep up—much less get ahead.
Three of the most valuable resources we have are time, money, and health. Unfortunately, most reach adulthood without much training in managing any of these.
