We’ve all realized at one time or another that we should stop a certain behavior. For some it might be smoking. For others, a change in diet. Perhaps you have a quick temper. We’ve all got stuff that could be better.
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And we know it. But knowing what we should do doesn’t always mean we want to or will do it.
We often remind young parents that all our ideas for parenting didn’t come with the birth of our first child. Our parenting skills developed throughout the entire 28 years that we had children under our roof. In fact, we were making changes and adding new techniques even after our last babies (twins) were born.
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Change is necessary for anything to get better. But I learned that if we were going to make changes in our household, it was something that needed to be handled very carefully. Children get used to a certain mode of operation and not everyone is excited about the status quo being altered.
Gail and I have long advocated weekly date times—especially for parents of young children. Busy parents know they need it and like the idea of a date away from the kids. The reality is most don’t make it happen because they’re too tired or busy.
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And if they are willing to carve out the time, a lack of discretionary money may be a hindrance. Couples often get discouraged by the false idea that dates have to be expensive.
We continue to hear daily about the harmful effects of stress. Most of us deal with more than we want—some have gotten dangerously used to the level of stress that’s become their norm.
Stress occurs because of pressure. Our tendency is to blame others or circumstances for that pressure. And that may certainly be the case. But—and this may not be immediately comforting—so much of what stresses us out is often within our control and could have been avoided.
With the reports of snowstorms happening in the eastern part of our country, it brings me back to the days when we lived in an old farmhouse in Wisconsin.
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We had many snowstorms during the nineteen years we called Wisconsin our home. There were times when the snow would pile up around us. Running out of heating oil in the old furnace meant we had to bury ourselves in blankets until the trucks were able to get through so we could warm our home again. Temperatures so cold that the transmission fluid in the van froze, making it impossible to drive. We learned to prepare: to stock up on milk, bread, bananas and other basic staples.
Every married couple learns eventually how vital communication is to a healthy, growing, loving relationship. But great communication is a skill that’s a work in progress and takes a lifetime to master.
Communication is a 2-way street—both talking and listening. Like driving, adhering to a few rules and being mindful and respectful of others keeps traffic flowing safely and effectively.
Families are eating together less and less. It’s a sign of the times—of schedules getting busier and busier. But families that make dinner together at least several nights a week a priority know that it’s worth the effort to do so.
It doesn’t mean it has to be a dinner out. It doesn’t even need to be a fancy meal. Just an opportunity to be together. After all, isn’t that part of what being a family is about—sharing life together? And shouldn’t we make this a priority in our busy schedules?
If you’ve ever had (or have) more than one young child in your home, you’ve listened to more bickering than you want to. Much of the time it’s two little people squabbling over the exclusive use of the same toy, electronic device, book, chair, etc.
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You may hope they’ll grow out of it or learn to resolve it on their own. They won’t. Selfishness is wired into us and unless a child is trained in how to share, he’ll grow older and yet remain a petty child at heart.
In all the years I’ve taught the how-to’s and benefits of fasting, I don’t remember a time when so many were as interested as today. So many churches—to their credit—are now starting the year with a concentrated 7 to 21 days of fasting and prayer.
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As a general rule, most people today don’t know much about fasting unless you would call dieting fasting (which is not our context today.)
But it was common in Bible times. And even though the Bible refers to fasting numerous times, you won’t find a lot of practical instruction there because basically the audience then understood it already.
We recently celebrated a grandchild’s birthday. At 8:00am we were able to FaceTime with him, see the opening of birthday gifts and the revealing of the special birthday cake. Birthdays have always been a big deal in the Andersen home. It’s rewarding to see that continue as our kids now follow many of the same birthday traditions that we began so many years ago.
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Although elaborate “destination birthday parties” with friends were common among other families, we decided to make birthdays more of a celebration within our own family. A birthday party with friends can certainly be fun—we just felt it was such a special opportunity to celebrate one another as a family.
