Live Better. Love More.
Leave A Legacy.

With the reports of snowstorms happening in the eastern part of our country, it brings me back to the days when we lived in an old farmhouse in Wisconsin.

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We had many snowstorms during the nineteen years we called Wisconsin our home. There were times when the snow would pile up around us. Running out of heating oil in the old furnace meant we had to bury ourselves in blankets until the trucks were able to get through so we could warm our home again. Temperatures so cold that the transmission fluid in the van froze, making it impossible to drive. We learned to prepare: to stock up on milk, bread, bananas and other basic staples.

Families are eating together less and less. It’s a sign of the times—of schedules getting busier and busier. But families that make dinner together at least several nights a week a priority know that it’s worth the effort to do so.

It doesn’t mean it has to be a dinner out. It doesn’t even need to be a fancy meal. Just an opportunity to be together. After all, isn’t that part of what being a family is about—sharing life together? And shouldn’t we make this a priority in our busy schedules?

If you’ve ever had (or have) more than one young child in your home, you’ve listened to more bickering than you want to. Much of the time it’s two little people squabbling over the exclusive use of the same toy, electronic device, book, chair, etc.

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You may hope they’ll grow out of it or learn to resolve it on their own. They won’t. Selfishness is wired into us and unless a child is trained in how to share, he’ll grow older and yet remain a petty child at heart.

We recently celebrated a grandchild’s birthday. At 8:00am we were able to FaceTime with him, see the opening of birthday gifts and the revealing of the special birthday cake. Birthdays have always been a big deal in the Andersen home. It’s rewarding to see that continue as our kids now follow many of the same birthday traditions that we began so many years ago.

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Although elaborate “destination birthday parties” with friends were common among other families, we decided to make birthdays more of a celebration within our own family. A birthday party with friends can certainly be fun—we just felt it was such a special opportunity to celebrate one another as a family.

While I loved having dinner as a family and taking that time to gather and build relationships, I was often hit with the challenge of how to handle the child who did not care for what I fixed for dinner. With seven in our family, it was rare to be able to hit everyone’s favorites all in the same meal.

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You can try begging, pleading, demanding, but you are still going to wind up with some situations where the peace at the family dinner table is shattered.

What’s a mom to do?

Christmas is such a special time of year. And what better way of making it even more exciting than to intentionally plan some regular activities that your children look forward to every year.

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Most families are accustomed to decorating the tree, making Christmas cookies, being involved in some type of Christmas program, doing an advent calendar or countdown chain, and having certain traditions for gift opening.

How would your kids react this Christmas if they emptied their Christmas stocking and found an apple, an orange, and handful of peanuts in the shell, and a shiny penny? I suspect you’d get a “what the…?!” face. Maybe some tears.

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On the contrary, in our family those items are the capstone to whatever else may be in the stocking. And if ever absent (which they’ve never been), it would be more than disappointment—it would be a severe violation of family protocol.

Every great, noble value is best learned at home. As parents, part of our responsibility is to seize opportunities to not just teach but model these values to our kids.

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Generosity isn’t restricted to Christmas time—but I don’t think there is another season of the year that has more potential for families to practice it in so many ways.

Family gatherings over the holidays are something most look forward to. But they also come with potential conflict between parents and married kids. Unsolicited advice—no matter how well-intentioned, overstepping by doing things your way, etc.

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This is actually on ongoing risk, not just during the holidays, and one each family needs to learn how to navigate.

Traditions. They are a part of what makes your family unique. They are the things kids want to do over and over. They give stability to the family. They are the glue that holds the family together. They are the way your children pass on your legacy from generation to generation.

Summer Day In Winter

When we first got married, I had a deep desire to start traditions for my family. I grew up experiencing some Christmas traditions with my family of origin, but I wanted to expand that. I wanted lots of traditions, and sought to include activities that would mark special events throughout the year. Ways of celebrating that would be unique to the Andersen family. Traditions that could be repeated from year to year.