For many stay-at-home moms, the question, “What do you do?” is an awkward one. The reply may be a sheepish, “I’m a stay at home mom.” That makes me sad. My desire is for every mom—stay-at-home or not—to confidently celebrate being a mom as their highest calling in life.

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After I quit my teaching job to stay at home with my firstborn, I too struggled with my own self-assurance. Was this new role of mine in raising one just as important as my previous profession in teaching many?

We’re just about into the change of the season. A nip is in the air—at least here in Oklahoma! Days are getting shorter. Cool, fresh breezes in the evening. Leaves rustling. And time for some seasonal family fun!

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Years ago, we developed some basic family traditions that were always linked with the fall. It gave us an excitement for the change of the season, and made memories worth repeating each year.

As parents, we have multitudes of opportunities every day to give our children direction on their routines. While it may be easier to just do things for them, we do want to build responsibility in them. There is a way to build that responsibility without nagging. What they need is a little bit of motivation. And rewarding good behaviors rather than giving consequences for poor behaviors should be our first plan of attack in training our children.

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Think about how we as adults are motivated to work. We all like to think we are motivated with intrinsic rewards—that we derive personal satisfaction from a job well done. That is the best motivator of what we do in life. But it doesn’t usually start that way. Most of us need some extrinsic reward in the beginning. In the job market, it’s our paycheck or commission for the work we do. Both types of rewards are essential.

One of the greatest potential benefits of family is the sense of belonging. Sadly, not every family enjoys that. If you don’t work at building family spirit and a culture of togetherness, you’ll miss one of the greatest treasures in life.

As I say often, little things done consistently over a long time give the greatest benefits. So it is in strengthening family spirit. It doesn’t require a lot of money, nor can you accomplish it with just a big event. It happens mainly by staying connected and sharing in each other’s wins, struggles, and just everyday stories.

Picture this: it’s a nice warm sunny day. You’ve decided to take advantage of the weather and do a complete overhaul of all the closets in your home. You’ve just emptied the master bedroom closet and have assorted items littering your floor space. Your 8-year old comes in and says, “Mom, I’m bored.”

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You are just about to respond with, “It’s a beautiful day! Go outside and play!”, along with some other frustrated retorts. So you search your mind for ideas to quell his boredom. You are even rethinking your plan because obviously your child has nothing to do and must have your help in being directed.