Marriage is unlike any other relationship you’ll ever have. At its best, it’s a relationship founded on unconditional love, trust, commitment, care, support, and encouragement. Simply put, we promise to be there for each other. We need each other.
The joy of this give and take can get diluted, though, by the speed and demands of life. Sometimes your spouse just needs to be reminded that you’re thinking of her—that there is an intentional thought behind your actions other than just obligation.
As with most of the important things in life, little things done consistently over a long time end up giving the biggest benefits. I think one “little” marriage skill is regularly communicating, “I’m thinking of you.” By that, I mean, “There’s no one more important to me than you. I love being married to you. You’re worth my time and effort to make your life better.”
5 Ways To Say, “I’m Thinking Of You.”
- Checking in. You can’t beat a random text or phone call to your spouse to just see how she’s doing. Checking in to see how her day is going. It’s amazing how that can ease the momentary hassle she may be going through. It may be brief—it doesn’t matter. It’s simply knowing you are thinking about her.
Love notes. Do you remember how exciting it was to get a note from a crush in junior high? Most were so lame but they meant so much. Someone you admired thought enough of you to write you a note! They still work. Leave simple notes for your spouse. I tend to use Post-It notes. It may be nothing more than, “Good morning, sweetie!”, “Missing you.”, “Thinking of you today!” I once left a simple drawing of a heart on top of Gail’s glass with her morning smoothie I made for her. The smoothie is long gone, but that moisture-stained heart note is still on the windowsill above the kitchen sink.
Clear the path. The idea is knowing your spouse’s schedule and being considerate enough to streamline things ahead of her. Gassing up the car so she doesn’t have to on the way to her big appointment. Making coffee for him or a snack knowing he won’t have time to pick something up. Simple ways that say, “I’ve got your back.”
Lighten the load. We all have our areas of responsibility. But sometimes a normal everyday task becomes an unusual burden due to a heavier than normal schedule. Listen for clues. “I really have to get the oil changed but it’s such a hassle.” “Somewhere I’ve got to find time to pick up chips for the party.” “These need dropped off but it’s not what I want to be doing today.” If at all possible, step up to the plate and say, “Hey, let me handle that for you today.”
“Knock ’em dead, tiger!” Everyone needs a bit of cheerleading at times. It doesn’t matter who has the bigger day or event coming up—be mindful of your spouse’s challenges/opportunities and make sure you give your vote of confidence. It could be a whisper, a text, a thumbs up, a gentle squeeze on the hand but it means I’m thinking of you and pulling for you. As much as I appreciate well wishes and compliments from others, the only one I really want to hear from is Gail when the pressure’s on.
It is the thought that counts. Yet it needs to be conveyed somehow. Remind your spouse regularly that you are thinking of him/her, and that there’s no one more important to you.
Question: How do you show your spouse you are thinking of him/her? Share your answer in the comments below.