Great marriages are made. And the things that make them great are the things that help keep them great. Even the best of marriages can deteriorate if a couple neglects little courtesies and acts of service and affection.

I’ve worked with a lot of couples who’ve needed to regain lost ground in their relationships. And Gail and I have needed to strengthen our marriage throughout our almost 37 years together.

I’ve learned that most good things in life aren’t complicated. It just takes consistency. Doing simple things enough that they become good habits. It’s the cumulative effect of these repeated little things that add up to the real gold.

With that in mind, here are nine simple things—in no specific order—that, when done daily, will help reinforce the affection, appreciation, romance, kindness, respect, and closeness in the most important relationship you have.

1. Kiss. Kisses change throughout a marriage. In the beginning, they’re passionate. Over time, they seem to become shorter. But they can actually become more tender and meaningful. Ever see a couple of 90-year-olds still in love after 70 years of marriage kiss? So sweet yet you can sense the weight of 100,000 kisses. Kiss when you wake up, when you come home, when you leave, before going to bed.

2. Say, “I love you.” A lot. When you leave, when you end a phone call, before going to sleep. See who can say it first. You’re even allowed to play the “I love you more” “no, I love you more” game.

3. Hold hands. This is just one of many ways to reaffirm affection for each other. Hold hands as much as you can. Walking together, sitting next to each other, standing in line.

4. Leave notes. One of several ways to say “I’m thinking of you.” It shows the same thoughtful intentionality as when you were dating. There are hundreds of ways to leave a great love note. Get creative and have fun.

5. A random act of service. To do something for another without being asked and especially when you’re busy communicates so much. Making the bed. Putting away the dishes. Bringing coffee. Anything that puts your spouse’s needs or even wants before your own convenience.

6. Open doors for her. Ok, this is a bit one-sided yet valid. I’m old-school and for good reason. I don’t care what anyone says—a bit of chivalry is good manners and sorely needed today. Get with it, guys.

7. Compliment each other. Everyone appreciates being recognized. Whether it’s an unsolicited compliment about the way your spouse looks or something they did, don’t assume they know how you feel—tell them.

8. Talk. This starts with just staying in touch throughout the day with quick phone calls and even text messages. But eventually it has to be more than just the functional. You have to talk on the feeling level. This comes tougher for us men and you don’t have to do this with everyone you know, guys. But we owe it to our wives—and ourselves. You can’t build and maintain closeness without deep conversation.

9. Use “please” and “thank you.” Again, good manners never go out of style or become unnecessary. It communicates respect. “Honey, could you take out the garbage, please?” “Thanks for dinner, sweetheart.” When you stop appreciating another’s effort because it’s expected, you start taking each other for granted. And that’s a wrong turn in any relationship.

This is obviously not an exhaustive list but is meant to bring a reminder to all of us who want our marriage to be all it can be. If something in the above list got your attention, give it a bit more effort this week. No expectations on your spouse—just go first. But leaving this post open on their display is certainly fair play!