I have long since forgotten where I heard this phrase—it may have been Zig Ziglar—but, “fight for the bottom”, has been used in our family for years and is now being quoted by my grandchildren. It has diffused many arguments in our household, and it has the capacity to do that for yours as well.

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When a child is born, he knows nothing other than himself. He has very few needs—to be fed, changed, or put to sleep—but those needs are immediate, and they become the central focus of a household. Babies don’t know how to wait. And the only way they know to make their needs known is by crying.

What if we took those same needs in an adult and allowed the adult to be so self-focused that his every need had to be met immediately? We think nothing of a baby crying, but what about an adult crying out for the same thing? This would be unacceptable—not to mention weird—because we expect that as a person matures, he learns that not everything focuses on him. We expect self-centeredness to be present in a child, but we also expect that he will start to think of the people around him as he grows up.

What If Everybody Did That?

This attitude was one we found essential to embed in the minds of our children. In a family with seven members, there wasn’t any room for being focused only on self. I found a good book that I read to my children when they were young: If Everybody Did. It is a hilarious book, but teaches some deep essential moral truths in a funny way.

What would really happen in a family if everybody did what THEY wanted to do? What would be the result if everyone was fighting to have first choice of whatever? It promotes thinking about others and how our choices affect other people.

Training To Put Other First

So the phrase fight for the bottom became a motto around our home. When two children were arguing about who would get the biggest piece of cake, or who would get to play with the newest toy, I would ask, “Who is willing to fight for the bottom?” Sometimes it took a few moments for them to think about it. Sometimes I would have to remind them that fighting for the bottom always brings blessings.

Of course, there were seasons that we even gave bonus points or pennies in their jar as a reward for fighting for the bottom. But then there were also the days that everyone was fighting for the bottom and wanted to think of others first. Who would have thought that such a family slogan could affect such changes in the minds of children?

What if everybody in your family would fight to put others first? How would your marriage improve? How much peace would you experience in your home? How much personal gratification would fill your hearts because you didn’t demand your own way but instead, you considered the feelings of others? Yes, eventually it does make a heart feel good to prefer someone else.

Give it a trial run this week. Make an effort to fight for the bottom each day where you might not have usually done so. After all, what can it hurt to let someone else in line in front of you, or to take the back seat rather than hurry to the front? It changes your way of thinking. And, in the long run, you’ll benefit the most.