I had the privilege recently of attending what I consider the one of the most amazing wedding ceremonies that I have ever seen.

Courtesy 123RF/Stephen McCluskey

It was not because of the decorations, the uniqueness of the ceremony, or the excitement of the bride and groom. It was not because the budget for this event was extravagant. This ceremony was definitely the quickest and simplest I have ever seen.

There were only three people in attendance other than the couple and the minister. In fact, neither the parents of the bride nor the parents of the groom even attended the wedding.

How in the world, then, was this wedding was so unforgetable?

This ceremony was between two people who had been married for 34 years, then chose to separate for various reasons. But now, at the ages of 76 and 71, they determined that they wanted to marry again because caring for one another was the right thing to do.

Rather than stay away when health complications are at a high, chores are not easy to complete, and earning ability is all but extinct, they chose to recommit their lives to one another—not even knowing how much longer is left to their time here on earth.

Through tears, I then realized what a miracle I had been witness to.

There are several thoughts I had as I mulled over this experience in my mind.

1. Marriage is not for the lazy. Marriage is hard work. Every day, every week, every month, and year after year. Hard work to keep the relationship strong, and hard work if you wind up having to care for an ailing spouse. “In sickness and in health” is more than a platitude—it is a promise that you make to one another when you marry.

2. Marriage is not for the selfish. It is so hard not to have expectations in marriage. Without realizing it, we each have a set of non-negotiables that we assume our spouse will fulfill. What we really should be thinking is what can we do, what can we give, what can we be in order to be a blessing to that person we are marrying.

3. Marriage is not for the uncommitted. Marriage is a commitment. It not an agreement that stands just as long as it’s convenient. The purpose of marriage is to be together and to find strength in your union in order to navigate the ebb and flow of life. Anyone can stay committed when you have life by the tail. And anyone can walk away when the going gets tough.

Marriage vows are not something to be taken lightly. They should be contemplated deeply before speaking them. Even now, as Kirby and I approach our 37th wedding anniversary this week, I see the benefit of those promises we made years ago. They have served as part of the glue that held us together through thick and thin. And I hope that my husband and I will have the same endearing compassion for each other 20 years from now as this couple demonstrated to me.