For many stay-at-home moms, the question, “What do you do?” is an awkward one. The reply may be a sheepish, “I’m a stay at home mom.” That makes me sad. My desire is for every mom—stay-at-home or not—to confidently celebrate being a mom as their highest calling in life.

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After I quit my teaching job to stay at home with my firstborn, I too struggled with my own self-assurance. Was this new role of mine in raising one just as important as my previous profession in teaching many?

Thankfully, I quickly realized that being a mom is a commission from God, to gently care for and raise children. It is a high calling and a responsibility that is unparalleled.

Yet it doesn’t often bring with it the accolades we might desire until many years later. Our children don’t often say thank you. Our spouses may not compliment us or even be aware of all that we do. We don’t receive paychecks or bonuses. Add to that the fact that being a mom means repeating many of the same things day after day, and you have a recipe for moms to lose momentum, feeling unappreciated and undervalued.

Over the years, I chose to brighten my attitude about being a mom and ramp up my sustainability by doing several things:

1. Choose to be happy. Happiness is an attitude that is independent of circumstances. No matter what is happening around you, you can choose to look at the good things in your life and appreciate them rather than to concentrate on the not-so-great situation you find yourself in at that exact moment. Thinking on Psalm 113:9b always helped me to cheer up and move on. It says, “…He has made me to be a joyful mother of children.” Life is really 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond. Choose your attitude.

2. Value the intangibles. I am a doer by nature. I feel good when I can see the finished project; e.g., a clean house; an organized closet; a dress I’ve made. These accomplishments tend to give me a big part of my self-worth. As a mom, so much of what I do with raising my kids is nurturing relationships and developing character in my children—that progress isn’t always immediately obvious. In order to feel fulfilled, I had to ask myself, “Have I had quality time with my child? Is my child growing in his ability to think less often of himself and begin to think of others? Did he make the right choice when challenged by his peers?” These and other questions helped me to see that what I was doing was truly important.

3. Stop and laugh. It’s easy to be serious much of the time as a mom. But taking time to look at the hilarity of kids’ comments, situations or blunders we encounter everyday with our children keeps things light. As my husband used to say when something would go wrong to upset my day, “It’s a conspiracy!” As though some great force were trying to fool with me and upset the apple cart. It’s not really worth getting out of sorts. Fix it, clean it up, or do it again—then shake it off and just keep moving.

4. Be intentional. Rather than just letting life pass by and concentrating on just getting through the childhood years, decide that you are going to give it your all. Use your creativity to make parenting an adventure. Be attentive to your kids, experience life with them, sow into their hearts and lives, and make your family a fun one! Remember your high calling and make the most of each day to shape your children’s lives.

5. Reserve some time for you. To be the best mom you can be, make sure to carve out some recharging time for yourself. Somewhere during each day, you need to set aside at least a few moments to do something you enjoy. Read, meditate, take a nap, exercise, work on a hobby, immerse yourself in a bubble bath. Whatever brings you joy, be certain to make it part of your day. You’ll be a better mom for it.

There’s a lot riding on us moms! And our families deserve the best of us. Ours is a lifelong calling and in order to go the distance, we need to keep the right perspective to confidently raise our children to impact their world.