I shared how anyone can take steps toward better physical health in a sustainable way. And why we should be so concerned about doing so.

Additionally, I was asked how we could take simple steps towards better family relationships. That was like throwing steak to a dog—you know I love that subject!

I hope you enjoy this video. At the end, I give a link to some resources that will help you make better choices for better health this year.

Question: What has been a breakthrough choice of yours toward better health? Share your answer at https://kirbyandersen.com/2018/01/better-choices-for-better-health/.

It’s more than cards and candy. And it works not just on Mother’s Day but every day of the year.

Check out this week’s video and blog post, The One Thing Moms Can Never Get Too Much Of.

The best ways to give Mom the encouragement she deserves boils down to two things—it’s all here in the video for this updated blog post. 

And if you want to bless a mom with some daily bursts of encouragement, check out this resource Gail created for busy moms.

Unless you approach arguments in a different way, you’re going to have the same results as in the past.

That’s the focus of this week’s video and blog post: How To Avoid Or Quickly Diffuse Arguments In Marriage.

Learn a 3-part practical strategy from a simple Bible verse. Use these tactics to not only avoid destructive arguments in the future, but also undo the unresolved hurt of past arguments.

Click here to watch the video for this updated blog post. 

And if you haven’t checked out my Facebook page, Kirby Andersen – Stay On Target, click here and give it a “Like” to stay updated with daily doses of encouragement. Thanks!

A simple yet powerful daily routine that:

• Keeps you and your spouse current on anything important or interesting to the other.
• Allows you both to feel more connected as partners in all aspects of life together.
• Creates a greater sense of security in your kids.
• Presents a model for your kids to follow when married.

I explain it all in this video: Improve Your Communication As A Couple In Just 15 Minutes.

I’ll give you the essentials on how you can adopt this 15 minute a day habit as Gail and I did many years ago. 

You owe it to your marriage to keep improving your communication. So grab your spouse and watch the video from this updated blog. Hope you enjoy!

But Valentine’s Day is a great time to sharpen the skills that will make your marriage even better. One of those vital skills is communication. That’s why I wanted to share 5 Questions To Improve Your Communication With Your Spouse.

Gail and I have found these questions help us to get the full attention of the other, head off unnecessary miscommunication, and quickly recover when we occasionally say something against better judgment.

Treat your spouse extra special on Valentine’s Day and celebrate your marriage! And take a few moments to invest in your relationship with this updated blog post and video.

DON’T LET THAT HAPPEN!

Shock your spouse starting today by reviving one or more of these 9 Daily Marriage Builders!

In this updated video and blog post, you’ll find out:

• Why many simple kisses are better than an occasional “get a room” kiss!
• How basic good manners can strengthen your relationship.
• The danger of assuming your spouse knows how you feel.

Simple daily habits can keep the momentum going in every marriage!

So invest 10 minutes today in your most important relationship by viewing my latest video for you. Let me know what helped the most.

No, it’s not chocolate—although that may be true for some and all probably deserve!

It’s encouragement. Plain and simple.

Being a mom is a 24/7 job. Her daily schedule and tasks are often very rote and mundane. Generally not glamorous. And she seldom gets much—if any—positive feedback from those she serves.

It’s not Mother’s Day—and yet it is. Every day is a day to be more intentional about giving Mom some well deserved and much needed affirmation and encouragement.

Appreciation and Initiation

There are a lot of suggestions I might offer to show some love to moms. But most come under the headings of Appreciation and Initiation. I have it on good authority that the following go a long way to encourage a mom.

1. Notice and say something! I’m good about responding if asked, “Did you like dinner.” “Oh man, yes! It was amazing!” My response would have had at least 10x’s the impact had she not had to ask. Most of a mom’s day is filled with recurring tasks that become expected and go undetected. Laundry. Meals. Cleaning. Shopping. Paying bills. Bathing kids. Driving kids to school. Just because it may be the agreed upon division of labor, that doesn’t mean regular acknowledgement and appreciation should just be implied and understood without saying so. “Thank you!”, “This looks amazing!”, “Wow, you’ve been busy!”—all mean more than can be measured. Occasional thank-you notes can make the difference in making her service fulfilling or plain old drudgery.

2. Lend a hand. Just knowing someone has come along side to help can provide some renewed motivation. Again, don’t wait to be asked. Initiate. Step in and help. And if you don’t know what to do, ask the million dollar question, “What can I do to help?”

3. Give her a break. Experience has taught me that most moms won’t ask for a break, even if at a breaking point. So combine the appreciation and initiation by taking care of the kids and letting her go out for coffee with a friend, get a pampering treatment, or just a couple hours to do whatever she wants.

Most of this is directed towards husbands. (Ladies, feel free to leave this post open on his computer browser or even forward to him with a smiley face.) Men, let your kids see you appreciate your wife and help them learn similar skills. All of our lives our better when Mom feels appreciated and supported and fulfilled.

But all of us know a mom, not necessarily yours or your wife, that can use some encouragement. Get creative and bless a mom.

And let me make a shameless, unapologetic plug for a couple resources my wife, Gail, has for moms:

• Inspirational Moments For Moms. Gail has created a 28-day set of cards, each with a single encouraging and motivational thought-for-the-day for busy moms. Sometimes all a mom needs is a simple reminder of why she and her service matters. Click the link above for more info.

• And don’t forget her weekly Periscopes and YouTube channel, Mentoring Moments For Moms.

Show some love to a mom today—appreciate and initiate!

Question: What would you recommend as a guaranteed shot of encouragement for a mom? Share your answer at https://kirbyandersen.com/2016/12/the-one-thing-moms-can-never-get-too-much-of/.

Ever have thoughts like time is flying by faster than you thought it would? The kids are growing up way too fast? Are we building the family memories that all of us will treasure years from now?

Courtesy 123RF/stockbroker

I’ll bet I’m not the only one who’s lost a bit of sleep over those types of questions. It doesn’t necessarily mean we’re doing something wrong. It does mean we’re conscientious enough to be concerned about the kind of family culture and memories we’ll be proud of.

How One Advent Season Changed Our Family Forever

At the time of this writing, we just entered the Advent season. If you didn’t grow up in church, Advent has become the 4-Sunday run up to Christmas. Advent means “coming”. It’s a time of anticipation among Christians for the celebration of Christ’s first coming, born as one of us.

Advent has another special meaning for Gail and me. It reminds us of the beginning of a huge part of our family culture—Family Night.

When our two oldest sons were young, Gail read about making Advent a special family time by having a weekly time to do some Christmas activity as a family. So, for four Thursday evenings, she prepared a special dinner. We sat in the dining room—we used the occasion to also work on table etiquette! After dinner, we did an activity such as reading the Christmas story, a Christmas craft, or Christmas light-looking.

It was great. It didn’t take us long after Christmas to feel the void in our weekly schedule by that special couple of hours together as a family.

And so, Family Night was born. We realized we didn’t have to wait until Advent next year. This was so good we needed to squeeze it for all its worth.

I’ve written about Family Time in my ebook, 7 Weekly Habits To Supercharge Your Family This Week! What I want to encourage you to do today is to make this a part of your tradition.

When’s The Best Time To Start?

The best time to establish a weekly Family Time is…(drum roll)…THIS WEEK!

Every week that passes by without it is a huge missed opportunity. Don’t wait for Advent, New Year’s, summer break, after the big project is done, or when the kids get older.

The best time to start is NOW! Don’t overthink. Just start.

• Put in on the calendar. The key to making Family Time a weekly reality is making it a non-negotiable on the family calendar. Determine the best time to make this happen. We had our Family Nights on a weekday evening—usually Thursdays. But it doesn’t have to be a night. Choose your Family Time when it best works for your family, week after week. Then block that time out on the family calendar and personal calendars.

• The activity isn’t that important. Well, it should be fun but don’t obsess so much over what to do that it keeps you from starting. We took turns choosing what we’d do each week. It just had to be something we could all do together and it couldn’t cost any money. It’s not so much what you do that makes Family Time so valuable—it’s just having fun together that matters.

• It’s not a competition. You’re not going to be graded on this. You don’t have to out-do the previous week. Some Family Time’s will go smoother, be more fun, be more memorable than others. Just get started and enjoy the journey. The beauty of a weekly Family Time is you get a chance every week to just keep making it better.

• You’re building culture—not just memories. Honestly, I couldn’t name more than a few specific Family Nights. I’d have to read our journals to remember specifics. But it doesn’t matter. The win isn’t a great memory of a special Family Time. It’s the cumulative effect of hundreds of Family Times on your family culture that’s the real gold.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Time is passing. Establish your weekly Family Time this week. For your good, tell me when you’ll have your Family Time this week in the Comment section below. You can thank me later!

Question: If you have an established Family Time, when is it each week? If you don't, when will it be this week?! Share your answer at https://kirbyandersen.com/2016/11/when-is-the-best-time-to-establish-a-weekly-family-time/.

Thanksgiving is such an amazing holiday for so many reasons. It starts one of the longest weekends of the year. It kicks off the Christmas season in many ways. And for many, it’s a time to reconnect with family and friends that we don’t get to see as often as we’d like.

Courtesy 123RF/wavebreakmediamicro

But the actual Thanksgiving Day can be a mixed bag. It can be filled with miscommunication, overcrowding, and a few being overworked. Put a bunch of people in close proximity for an extended time, each with their own idea of what the day should be like, and you’ve got the makings of a stressful and disappointing day.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Here are a few ways to set a better tone for the day and avert repeating the disappointments of yesteryear.

1. Share the plan. As the host, make sure everyone knows in advance what the big picture schedule and expectations are for the day. Get some input from others who will be coming, then communicate in advance. Don’t overdo the schedule but everyone should know what time to arrive (if guests outside your home are coming), meal time, other group activities (watching the game, movie, or board games), and free times (naps, whatever). Consider a time to video chat with others as a group who couldn’t be with you this year.

2. Share the load. The work load, that is. Mom tends to get the bulk of the heavy lifting and that’s not fair. Someone has to be the quarterback, sure—but everyone can help with their fair share. This starts with shopping, house cleaning, and other prep before Thanksgiving Day. It includes food prep, welcoming guests, and clean up after the meal. See it all as part of the bigger experience—not just chores but all part of the fun.

3. Share the love. In addition to the usual family members, consider inviting others who may not be able to join with their families. Friends who have just moved to your city. People at work or church that would otherwise spend the day alone. And it’s a great opportunity as a family to either make a contribution to a Thanksgiving outreach to the homeless or others in need. Perhaps even include your involvement.

4. Share the gratitude. After all, it is Thanksgiving. And it doesn’t have to be awkward like everyone at the table having to tell something they’re thankful for before you eat. But don’t miss the opportunity to cultivate gratitude. Get creative. Pass a smartphone or video camera around throughout the day so each person has a chance to record something they’re thankful for. Or write them on Post-It notes and have a central place everyone can post them. Or have a journal available where everyone can write something during the day. Share the videos, read the notes at some time during the day.

5. Share the memories. These are big days and should be captured. In addition to the gratitude videos, notes, or journal entries, create a shared photo stream. Take some of the better photos and create a photo book through a business like iTunes or Shutterfly—either one book for the family archives or take orders from others who’d like their own copy. Snapchats are great but they don’t last!

Finally, purpose to be present in the moment throughout the day. What a lost opportunity to have family and friends together, only for everyone to get absorbed in their own worlds. Screens down, eyes up. Spend time talking, laughing, telling stories. Remember those who are no longer with you. Cry. Hug.

The meal is just the backdrop. Make the most of your time together, talking and having fun. Be thankful for each other and your time will be well spent. And you’ll treasure the memories for a long time.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Question: What is one way you make your Thanksgiving Days memorable in a good way? Share your answer at https://kirbyandersen.com/2016/11/making-this-thanksgiving-one-of-the-most-memorable/.

I’m not sure who said it first but they were brilliant. “Plan as if you’ll live a long time. Live as if you only have today.”

Courtesy 123RF/elenathewise

Part of living wisely is remembering our time here is limited. We all had a start date and there will be an end date. It generally comes unexpectedly and consequently impacts those closest to us in a huge way.

I’ve helped a lot of people over the years absorb the shock after the loss of their spouse. The shock emotionally as well as to their lifestyle is enough to deal with. Sadly, too many also have the unnecessary hassle and anxiety of sorting through all the financial information.

This is particularly tragic for a wife whose husband has handled all of their financial matters over the years. Even assuming he’s provided very responsibly for his wife and family, often the wife doesn’t have a clue of…

• How much money do we have?
• What are our investments?
• What insurance do we have and who is our agent?

The Financial Information Worksheet

Gail and I have kept a simple spreadsheet for years listing all of our key financial information in one place. She used to hate it when I’d update it and remind her of where it was located “in case anything happens to me.” She didn’t like to think about that possibility and usually say something like, “Why are you telling me this?!”

She doesn’t mind any more. We’ve seen the benefit of those who do and the needless burden on those who don’t.

If you haven’t done anything like this, it’s not difficult. Set aside an evening or an hour or two this weekend to compile a simple listing of all current information.

1. Assets. Bank accounts, insurance policies, stocks and any other investments, retirement plans, etc.

2. Specifics. For each asset, list account number, current value, company name, contact person, where to find documentation.

3. File. Keep in a place where both can access simply.

4. Inform. Provide a copy or at least inform key family members/executor of your wills where this information can be found.

5. Update. Create a reminder to update the list regularly. Do it whenever there’s a change in any asset but also review at least a couple times a year.

Here’s an example you can download to get you started.

Simple. You’ll be amazed how relieved and prepared it will make you feel. And on that day, hopefully a long time from now, you or your spouse is going to thank you for this simple yet powerful act of love and caring. That day will be tough enough without unnecessary anxiety.

Question: Additionally, what have you done as a couple to absorb the shock of that tough day in the future? Share your answer at https://kirbyandersen.com/2016/11/how-preparing-this-simple-spreadsheet-gives-your-spouse-a-huge-i-love-you/.