In my ebook, 7 Ways To Supercharge Your Family This Week, and in my personal coaching, I emphasize a few weekly events for families. These are the things that have produced in our family the relational gold we are most thankful for.

Courtesy 123RF/alotofpeople

Weekly habits such as meal time, couch time, family time, special time, date time.

It doesn’t matter which of these family-building activities I talk about, I always end up making a statement like this: “It’s all about doing something fun together that allows for conversation.”

It’s the secret sauce to all of these activities. So simple but don’t underestimate or neglect.

Hanging Out

I guess you could describe it as just hanging out. That’s the way we sum up what we do with those closest to us—just hanging out. Doing something fun together and talking along the way.

This is the everyday way of building closer relationships. Spending time together, having fun, engaging in meaningful conversation.

Seems simple enough. But too many families are getting ripped off because they’re distracted by busy schedules, technology, media, and other friends or work associates.

If you want closer relationships among your family members, you have to prioritize regular times:

• Doing something fun together. Families need rallying points. Time to break away from the busyness and stresses of life to regroup. To enjoy each other’s company. To build great memories. To laugh—and laugh lot. And doing whatever together instead of everybody going their separate ways. There’s a time for that, of course. But not at the expense of meaningful times together.
• Doing somethings that allows for undistracted, meaningful conversation. This is another defining guideline. Because you can do a lot of things together that are fun, but don’t allow for much conversation. For example, watching TV or movies. I’m not saying you can’t do those things together or that they don’t have benefit. But the best family-building activities include space for free flowing, meaningful conversation. It doesn’t have to be heavy or super deep all the time. But staying connected about things that matter.

Don’t Make Money The Excuse

The great thing about these two guidelines are that they don’t require you to spend money.

So many couples are not having dates together regularly because they’ve been convinced that dates have to be expensive. You don’t have to go out to dinner. You don’t have to go to a movie. It can be as simple as a walk downtown or in a great park, stopping for a coffee or even bringing your own favorites drinks and snacks along.

You don’t have to take your kids to the waterpark or Disney or out to eat to have some special, one-on-one time with them. Doing something they enjoy: a favorite sport; Legos; riding bikes. Always taking time to talk.

Block Out The Time

Great families don’t just happen—but building them doesn’t have to be difficult. It just takes intentionality and consistency.

Download your free copy of my ebook. Then start by adding at least one of the family-building activities to your family calendar this week. Then make it part of your weekly routine.

Don’t overthink it. Just keep spending time together, doing something you both or all enjoy, and keep the dialogue going.

Question: How do you make sure your family stay connected regularly? Share your answer at https://kirbyandersen.com/2016/08/2-guiding-principles-for-great-dates-and-family-times/.