Our church hosted Gary Smalley’s Couples Conference simulcast today. Keynote speakers were Gary Smalley, Erwin and Kim McManus, Les Parrott, and Henry Cloud. Here are my take-aways:
- Guard your heart for from it flow the issues of life - your words, actions, emotions.
- If you’re irritated by something your spouse does, it’s most likely a reflection of something you’re doing.
- You can’t change your spouse - only yourself.
- To have a great marriage, work on yourself.
- If you try to build intimacy with another before getting whole on your own, all relationships become an attempt to complete yourself - which is futile.
- 90% of relationship conflicts would disappear if we would see the issue from the others person’s eyes.
- Intimacy with your spouse is based on knowing him/her.
- Live with a curiosity about your spouse; i.e., what they feel.
- There is a big difference between judging and feeling. E.g.,
- “I need him to stop acting like…” (judgment)
- “I’m afraid that things will be like when I grew up.” (feeling)
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